Sex is boring when you get older. Survey facts and figures What participants said, in a nutshell Men A good relationship with a spouse or partner is important to quality of life Drooping libido, slower rates of arousal, and the predictability of having the same partner for 20 or more years all add up to a ho-hum sex life. On the contrary, the older man has better control of his ejaculations. Sure, thinning hair, laugh lines, and a paunchy midriff are no picnic. Couples therapy is a good place to turn for help in doing this. Other times, an individual searches out a new partner to meet unfulfilled emotional or intellectual needs.
As a result, it's all the more difficult to resume sexual intimacy later on. The culture we live in exalts youth. Survey facts and figures What participants said, in a nutshell Men A good relationship with a spouse or partner is important to quality of life Sexuality in later life is undignified. What's important for both sexes to remember, though, is that a softer erection, reduced natural lubrication, or a less intense orgasm doesn't mean you're no longer interested in your partner or in sex itself. It's healthy for older adults to express their sexuality. When sexual activity wanes, other types of physical affection often fade, too. But if your mirror is reflecting a different picture these days, you may feel like the party is going on without you. During a long bout with erectile dysfunction, many women blame themselves for their partner's inability to perform. She may mistakenly assume that her husband's newfound erections are merely a chemical phenomenon, not an outgrowth of sexual attraction to her. While the deep trust and intimacy created from years of shared experiences are the building blocks of a truly loving relationship, such familiarity can take the edge off desire. They're the stories we tell ourselves and each other to support the notion that older people shouldn't, can't, and wouldn't want to have sex. Stress, anxiety, self-esteem issues, negative past experiences, lifestyle demands, loss of loved ones, and relationship conflicts can weigh heavily. This yearning may arise from a need to banish midlife drudgery, a desire to find out what sex is like with someone else, or an urge to recapture the heart-pounding sexual highs of youth. Because inhibitions often lessen with age, sex at 50 or 60 may include a level of experimentation and playfulness you wouldn't have dreamed of in your younger years. Communication is essential for partners to build the trust needed for a successful sexual relationship. Vaginal dryness or erection difficulties can be wrongly perceived as waning interest in sex, which can trigger feelings of rejection and resentment. Should a woman want to remarry, her chance of finding a new mate in her age bracket dwindles yearly; there is an average of only 7 men for every 10 women age 65 and above. At age 75, the proportion dropped to one in four. For men, anger and frustration can interfere with arousal and getting an erection. It's the most common psychological contributor to erectile dysfunction. In fact, a survey conducted by the AARP and Modern Maturity magazine revealed that the percentage of people age 45 and older who consider their partners physically attractive increases with age. The person who was once so electrifyingly mysterious to you may become as comfortable — and as alluring — as an old shoe. Sex therapy can also be useful if the affair has caused or resulted from sexual problems. With this trend toward later-life vitality, why shouldn't seniors be allowed to cast off outdated and ill-fitting stereotypes in order to express their normal, healthy sexual appetites? The findings paint a detailed picture of sexuality at midlife and later. Also, a woman can develop problems related to vaginal atrophy if she hasn't had sex in a long time.
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