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Sex without love is for the physical benefit for both of you, and if one person is not interested or doesn't care for what the other party is giving then they are free to leave. Do you want to stay around but feel compelled to leave? Do you feel yourself developing feelings for someone? O'Reilly says that it all comes down to how much each of you care about the relationship at hand. Afterwards you hear people on the radio talking about non-consensual sex and you ponder the implications for you given some of your encounters with women. Spend time apart to protect your feelings from turning into something more serious. You are constantly evolving, growing, and changing, and your sexual preferences are no exception. If you like or love your partner, but the sex is falling short, we really feel for you. According to Knight, you and your partner have probably gotten a little too comfortable with one another. Have your boundaries set before you head out for the night and stick to them, as this will protect you and your heart from getting too invested. Afterwards you wonder did she fake her orgasm. What kind of lover do you want to be? You need to be clear and upfront with someone you are hooking up with from the beginning. No woman is raving about your prowess in bed. When sex is more about power than mutual pleasure you are in a very scary place. If you are not you may lead someone to expect more than you are willing to give, ending in one-sided relationships that will end poorly for everyone. In order to have a happy and healthy sex life, you need to put in the effort. On the other hand, if the not-so-great sex is happening with a new love interest, you can still try to communicate with him or her about your desires, but it might not always work. A direct line on pleasure, instead of intimacy, is crucial to keep the relationship from developing into broader feelings. Conversations like these should be seen as a chance to learn, not just about what your partner wants in bed, but other equally important relationship skills such as joint problem solving, active listening, and mature conflict resolutions. Things to say include: It is not handed to you, it is not something you can take. Remember, however, that if they take offense or would rather be with someone exclusively then you can both easily go your separate ways. Some people refrain from kissing their hook-up partner, as it feels too close to a real relationship. In fact that is one of the least sexy things I can imagine thinking about while being intimate. It allows you the space to learn about each other sexually.
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